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| Dan Graham, 2 Way Window (1974) |
This week I am thinking about seeing.
A woman on the street is breaking down into a complete horror-sorrow. She is crumbling. And me, I am dumbfounded and staring from across the street on the sidewalk not understanding what to do. The exactness of the particular moment. I looked over and observed her at the something-hit-her point and then watched her slow-motion collapse.
Then a sense of fear. Thinking to myself, is it my fear or hers. She needs to just be with this. She needs to walk a bit. She'll be OK on her own.
Continuing to look and not look, I turn a corner. I'd planned to meet a friend on another corner. And this impatient need to describe it and share it with another comes upon me- to both express it, connect it, and free myself of shame (guilt) for not asking the question, "Are you OK?". Even though she may not want me to ask.
The need to describe is the feeling I am now thinking about, carrying. And the need for acknowledgment.
Yes, isn't this kind of public moment common in this city? Seeing human beings in difficulty- moments of pain. Emotions are out there, we cannot always control where we experience them.
We talked about our own moments crying on a sidewalk. Mine: a fight with an old boyfriend in the East Village on another corner. Hers: receiving a phone call that her friend had passed away.
Leaving me with the question- what narrative does the moment I watched propose.
